Hammock House

Review - WonderMill Grain Mill

Christine — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 10:32:33 +0000

WonderMill Grain Mill
Image from WonderMill.com

This following is the review that I did over on Amazon for the The WonderMill Grain Mill. I have been meaning to upload it here sooner, well, now is the time, since WonderMill has increased the price. And with more people wanting healthier food, well, get it while you can!

WonderMill Grain Mill - Powerful, fast, gets the job done!

Let’s start right with - I LOVE my WonderMill! I also have a hand-grinding mill (Back to Basics) that I have used, but decided to look around for an electric mill, because even though the B2B is great, my hands and arms got tired, quick. Have no fear though, I’ll keep the B2B for when the power is out, or we go camping, it does a great fine grind. So, I did some research, and then I saw and read some comparison tests. Well, I chose the WonderMill.

Just to clear up some things:

Here is the information from the manual:

You should NEVER SWITCH OFF your mill during its milling cycle. Wait until it has finished milling all of the grain in the hopper before stopping. Starting the mill with grain in the hopper or stopping the mill while it is in process may cause your mill to clog up with flour. If you wish to mill a small amount of flour just add a small amount of grain.

If an emergency occurs and you must turn off the mill before the hopper is empty, turn the texture knob to the far left, pastry setting (11 o’clock), then switch the mill off. To restart the mill, remove all grains, hold mill firmly and shake mill upside down while tapping one side of the mill, readjust the texture knob to the coarse position, then turn the mill on. If the mill only hums - Do NOT continue to try to run the mill. Call the Service Center for Assistance at 208-234-9352.

And here is the updated info, via youtube video: from the company, showing how to do it: […]

** Added: 2/3/1010 - Amazon took off video link, which I can understand, so, here is how to find it: go to youtube and in the search bar at top of page, enter “grotemolen” WITH the quotes (the quotation marks will narrow down results), and you should see the different videos that the company has put out. Click on the one titled “Turning off the Wondermill Grain Mill During Milling”. **

» » Added for website review:

I also called the company itself, to make sure that when I wrote my review, that I was stating accurate information, and I was told: for older models, the information in the written manual is correct - but they have done more testing, and have found that NO, you do NOT have to turn the machine upside and empty out the hopper, and NO, you do NOT have to turn the texture knob to coarse before turning it back on. I also asked about the video showing John putting the wheat berries in the hopper before turning it on and was told it is better if the machine is empty when turned on, but that it was okay if you had grain in it.

So… if you need to turn off your grinder to run to the bathroom (please, wash your hands before coming back ;o)) or grab the phone that is ringing, or answer the doorbell… well, you can.

Loudness of the grinder: yes, it is very loud - when empty. Presumably though you won’t be running it for too long with the hopper empty, then it quiets down some while grinding and stuff is hopper, as it empties it gets louder again. For myself this is not a problem, especially after grinding up Parmesan cheese chunks in my food processor. If you’ve ever done that, you know what I mean. :o)

Which brings me to next point: when you first go to turn it on - hold onto it - maybe it’s just mine, but it jumps a little. Once it gets going it’s fine, but just so you know. Also, be prepared for when the hopper empties out, that 1 or 2 grains might try to escape by flying out. ;o)

As far as getting the lid off the flour canister, I agree, it originally was a pain, but, I learned a trick. Hopefully, it will work for others, and not just on mine: I turn the canister so that the part with the curved flour tube is pointed AWAY from my body and pull up on the tab that is located by the tube while my other arm is wrapped around the canister - then I have a much easier time getting lid off. As I said, hopefully that will work for others. I don’t know why it works on that particular tab for me, but it does. Don’t ask me why. And yes, push down on all sides to make sure that it is firmly attached before turning on machine, push down with both hands firmly until you hear loud click - I learned that lesson very well.

Here are some things to hopefully help others when they get their machine:

When you first get your mill, you’re told to run at least 2 cups of wheat or other hard grain, well, I wasn’t willing to throw away good wheat, so, I used rice instead, and did 3 cups, just to be safe. No problems. It was also a good way to test the texture settings for me.

The curved flour tube does NOT come off and does not pull straight out sideways! It becomes easier to move with usage, but first time might be a little tough. I’m right handed so here is how I do it: place my left hand, flat, on top of canister with tube side facing right, I take my thumb and hook it just into the hole and lay my forefinger along the side of tube for stability, and gently pull up and around. Basically you will be ‘flipping’ the tube horizontally, without removing it.

When I first got machine, I hand washed all that could be washed, and wiped down the hopper part, then I milled my first grind, which was the throw-a-way rice, when you go to grind, make sure that the filter is on the machine and that you put the separator cup back on correctly (line the flat side of cup up with flat tab - I used a marker and made alignment arrows for ease). I forgot that first time, and made giant mess. Just an FYI. Another reviewer talks about lining the canister with plastic bag and that it helps with clean up - I have not tried that, but it sounds like it would work, I’ll add addendum when I try it next week. Just ground up 6 cups of wheat so won’t need more until then.

Hope that this review helps someone else and clears up a little of the confusion that seems to be around about this machine.

Merry Christmas - 2009

Christine — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 10:47:25 +0000

No post today, except to say…

Merry Christmas and God Bless

Is snorting legal?

Christine — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 03:31:04 +0000

I just have to ask, so that I don’t get into trouble. Is snorting legal?

Noooo… not aerosols, or any of that stuff, I’m talking, snorting toilet paper!

I remembered that we were going to need a new roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, so while I was putting stuff away in storage, I grabbed a roll of toilet paper off the shelf. As I went to put it down on the bathroom counter (to hopefully be put ON the roll at a later time) I got a faint whiff of something that smelled really nice. Thought, to myself of course, uh-oh, GP is starting to put fragrance on their paper. Which for me is a big no-no, because I have asthma, so most fragrances that other people can handle no problem, sends me reaching for my inhaler.

So, I did what any normal person would do, right?, I put the brand new roll of TP up to my nose and took a big whiff. Hmmm. Took another whiff. Hmmmmmmm. And another just to make sure. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

That third whiff and then the subsequent snorting of the toilet paper, confirmed it… my toilet paper smells good!

You see, when I grabbed that roll, I didn’t think about what was in front of the rolls on the shelf. Before I tell you though, I will say this, every roll of tp on that shelf, smells heavenly! *grins* You see, on the shelves I can fit rolls 2 deep, which leaves a small space in front of them. So, that is where I keep my Tarts®! I had forgotten that, because I normally don’t get stuff out of that storage, until we run out from the regular pantry and storage.

Tarts®, for the unknowing, is wax that is pressed into molds, and then when put into a tart warmer, with a candle underneath it, the wax melts. I know, real technical, but keep up with me, please.

Tarts and toilet paper

Now, as I said earlier, there are a lot of fragrances that I cannot be around, just cannot. So, when I do find a fragrance that I can breathe with, well, I go bonkers. So, when Yankee Candle® came out with their Vintage series, of Merlot, White Zinfandel, Chardonnay, as well as Vineyard and Blackberries… I pounced. You see, no matter who the company is, I usually find that any scent I can be around, usually does not last long with the company. They get rid of it. Inevitable, but extremely frustrating. So, I bought as many as I could.

Here’s the thing though, if using them as they are intended, they really do last a long time. I’ve had same wax in a warmer for at least 4 months. But I do something else with most of my Tarts®, I shave off some of it to be melted in with my beeswax for the candles that I make.

Okay, back to original reason for post. When I realized what I was smelling, all I could do was press my nose and face into the fresh roll and snort up the scent. That roll is now sitting on my desk, by the laptop. A new, unscented roll is in the bathroom. And yes, I keep on snorting! Please, tell me this is legal, I would really hate to have to give it up! I can see the headline now:

“Girl thrown in jail because she wouldn’t hand over the toilet paper! News at 11:00.”

Little this and a little that…

Christine — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:04:36 +0000

- Clickable Image -
Banana Nut Bread

Well, got my FTP straightened out, thank goodness. Found out it was not just my account, but anyone on the same grid that my site was located. (mt) Media Temple did a great job, not only of catching the problem, but taking steps to immediately start damage control. Turns out, my account, thankfully, was not one of the actual ones that had a problem, but since I am on the same grid, chances could not be taken and so my account was ‘locked’ also. Which is fine, I was sick as a dog at the time, and quite frankly, didn’t care. *grins* Now, I have to get used to all the new passwords… pain in the rump, but worth it.

While I was sick, there were some bananas getting awfully ripe, too ripe to just eat, unless you like mush, but, perfect for banana nut bread. Well, I wasn’t up to making it at the time, so, I threw the bananas in the refrigerator and watched as the skin turned black. This of course was on top of the ’spots’ from it ripening.

Even now, I am still not at 100 percent, but I am up and moving and those bananas were just hollerin’ my name! These beauties were made on the 5th… one has been nibbled on for the past 3 days, and the other is safely ensconced in the freezer. Now these were full sized loaves, but, I ordered Wilton Aluminum Mini Loaf Pan, which is great since it is 6 pans together. I figure this will be a great size to make individual loaves, and with Christmas coming up… well, you know where my thoughts are headed.

- Clickable Image -
Jars of dehydrated fruits and veggies
Corn, Carrots, Blueberries and Banana Chips

In the last post (sorry it was so long, but it honestly was the short version!), I talked about how much dehydrated corn will fit into a quart jar (roughly 6 pounds!). Well, I couldn’t add images at the time, but, I can now. :o) Having dehydrated foods, along with my home canned foods, has really made making dinner or lunch, and yes, even snacks super easy! Not to mention, we know exactly what is in our foods… and it is not loads of salt. As for the dehydrated foods, if using them in sauces or soups, just throw the amount in that you want and they will rehydrate in the liquid that you have in there.

I try and make fixing dinner easy on myself, so I’ve started grating carrots (okay, actually I threw them in my food processor and it grated them for me, as well as having sliced carrots. For roasts and stews where you want larger food, then I use my home canned, which I usually have quartered carrots as well as sliced. These are just some options… but it works for most fruits and veggies. Now, your banana chips, apple slices, etc., that you are wanting as snacks, then of course, just pop them in your mouth and enjoy!

Now, to save up money for a WonderMill grain grinder. :o)

Someone else’s turn…

Christine — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:32:52 +0000

UNCLE!!!

Get comfy folks, this is gonna be a long one…

Scratch that, I just deleted everything that I had written up, cuz even for me, it was long. Too long.

I’ll sum it all up real quick… you ready?

Here we go…

Since July 3rd - Grandma Ginny has passed away, Pappap’s mental faculties have pretty much gone on vacation, and Jimmy James got married! Shadow has to tinkle ALL the time, Aunt Polly kept passing out, everything keeps breaking in the house, and out.

Momma has been gone (to take care of Pappap) since beginning of July, Shadow has bladder stones, I’ve only been able to get to grocery store 3 times since July, and the truck had to be worked on, again. Claire fell off ladder and hurt herself, Carye, Lilbit and Katiebug all got the H1N1 flu virus - scared the crud out of us - they are better, thank you God!! Momma has been sick while trying to take care of Pappap, who is giving those with ‘oldtimer’s disease’ a run for their money.

In the last 2 weeks - Aunt Sara passed away, red ants swarmed our house, inside, twice. Someone tried to hack into my FTP account and my hosting company locked it until I change all the passwords. (I’ve just been too tired to fix while sick, so no pics to post right now.) Aunt Polly had to have a pacemaker put in, got the Property Tax bills- one for land down in Miami - only gonna be close to $19.00. Yeah right… make that $19,000.00. And here I thought the one for our house here was bad at $1500.00. (Please, please, please, let us win the lottery!!) Shadow had to have emergency surgery to remove the bladder stones that didn’t pass, which were 12 - they took out 28 more. :o( I finally got out (while Shadow was in hospital) to go to pet store and other errands, just in time to catch someones crud they so kindly shared. I swear someone is using my ribs as punching bags, front and back every time I cough, not to mention whoever it was who is trying to rip my throat out when I cough. Thank goodness the elephant that had propped itself on top of my chest, finally moved yesterday, now it is just a rhino sitting in its place, so I can at least breathe, just not deeply. Now, if that bullfrog that has lodged itself in my throat would move right along, that would be nice. Mornings are better, nights suck.

I’ll quit complaining, you see, I’m not the only who is sick, I had called Momma at 5:30 in the morning when Shadow passed the 12 stones, waiting for vet to open. She drove up and went to stores with me (the next day)… yup, she’s in the same sick boat. Only her boat went back down south, not too long after Claire fell again, but just in time to give the crud to her!

Now for some good news - because I am sick as a dog, and the actual dog is sick as a human?, we didn’t drive south to have Thanksgiving. We were here alone, well, along with the little dog and our rabbit, and the stray cat who comes here every day. No, that’s not the good news, the good news is… someone rang the door bell, the afternoon of Thanksgiving, and lo and behold there stands our neighbor and her daughter-in-law with 2 plates. She knew I wouldn’t go over and join them, so without asking she brought me a plate of dinner and a plate of dessert. Talk about sweet. It was unexpected, I had planned on having soup for dinner. It was just a lovely surprise.

Haven’t repaid her yet, she’ll just tell me I don’t need to, and I know I don’t, but I want to. Didn’t really want to do to much while sick in case my germies get all over everything, but I was looking through my pantry for ideas. You tell me… we could make banana nut bread, a small carrot or spice cake, or should I be practical and dehydrate some stuff and give that?

Speaking of dehydrating! Did you know, that roughly 6 pounds of corn kernels will dehydrate down to fit into a quart jar? No, you didn’t? Well, now you do. Did you know that roughly 5 pounds of carrots will also dehydrate down to fit into a quart jar! Amazing! I have to be honest, that one is the one that absolutely got me, 5 pounds of carrots into a quart jar. Unbelievable! Wish I could say that I haven’t dehydrated while I’ve been sick, and I hadn’t up until tonight. Went out to freezer to grab a fruit pop for my throat when I had to move a bag of french fries out of the way. Now, we haven’t bought bags of french fries in probably 6 years, but I had heard you could dehydrate them, so I bought a bag to try. Only I was going to do it when I was better. Unfortunately the bag had other ideas, it was open at the seam about 4 inches long.

So, now the house smells like.. I dunno, I’m trying to cough up a lung tonight no matter how much I gargle with lemon and water, with salt and water, drink honey, use cough drops… whatever. For some reason tonight it is just not working, not even pretending to work. Someone keeps pounding that sledgehammer into my ribs and that stupid rhino just will not let me get a deep enough breath.

However, I did a little sewing this morning, and I hope to use it soon (every time I tried to this afternoon when I wanted to curl up and veg out, Shadow had to go potty - yes, she came through surgery okay, she will be getting the top layer of stitches out this coming week. I swear it looks like the same metal used for stitches that they use on braces for teeth. Only thinner. Even though surgery went well, everything stretched out because of the stones, and until they shrink back to normal size she is still tinkling, tinkling, tinkling.). I took a kitchen towel (pure cotton), folded it right sides together and sewed all the way around except for a small space about 2 inches long. Then I resewed it all over again… this would need to be heavy-duty for what I had in mind. Then I turned it right side out, using my canning funnel in the slot, I dumped in about 6 cups of rice and 2 bay leaves. Then I sewed up the open slot, backtracking to make sure it was not going to be the weak link. After that, I took a clean, old cotton sock, filled it also with rice, and tied it off in a knot.

I haven’t been able to use it for long, as I said, Shadow kept having to go outside, but I did test it and it blessedly works. All you do is put the ‘rice bags’ into the microwave and heat for a few minutes. The sock bag only takes about 1 1/2 minutes, 2 max. The towel bag takes about 5 minutes. Be careful, because they are warm to hot. The towel bag is for my ribs and the sock bag molds nicely along my neck so that hopefully whoever has been trying to rip it out will cease. At least for a few minutes, or until the heat subsides, which seams to be a little while. So, there you go…. now scoot, go make your own bags, these bags have my aches written all over them!

Haven’t had a coughing jag for 10 minutes now, think I might try and finally get some sleep. Even going to try it in my bed tonight, am tired of sleeping sitting up in the recliner chair so that elephant didn’t kill me. Crap, coughing fit. You know, know matter how much I try not to… it still comes out.

Sure that is a lot of stuff, but, it’s not even all of, that’s just the major stuff. But, now you know why I have been absent and haven’t been posting except once in blue moon. It’s not because I haven’t wanted to, just… who has had the time or energy? Not me.

And yes, this, is the short version!

G’nite peeps, or should I say g’morning.

Time flies, but are we having fun?

Christine — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 12:27:48 +0000

Spicebush Swallowtail Caterpillar

WOW… holy cow, I cannot believe that it has been 5 months since I updated my blog. I knew it had been a while, but geesh!

Life has not slowed down one iota, if anything it has moved faster, to understand what I mean, check out Three months, gone, in a blink..

Actually, I really don’t have time right now to update, but, just wanted to say what I’ve done so far this morning…

Am on second load of laundry, bread doing their second proofing in the oven, dishes from getting bread ready for proofing cleaned and drying, dishwasher that ran in middle of night is now empty. In the dehydrator we have 3 trays of carrots, 3 trays of bananas and 3 trays of apples, all happily having all their moisture sucked out of them! Last, but not least, so far, all the prep stuff that went into getting food ready for dehydrator is also clean and drying. :-)

Gopher Tortoise
Just truggin’ along in the back yard

Whew… I’m tired and it’s only a little after 8 AM!

Aha - timer just went off, so 2nd proofing complete, not to mention a very unhappy rabbit who is thumping very loudly in her cage, because ‘Mom’ has not uncovered her.

Is it nap-time yet?! :-)

Homemade Herbed Bread
Tried a new ‘bread pan’ - yup, that is a Corelle serving bowl

Teaser is uncovered and fed, bread is baking in the oven, dogs have been potty and now to make out the grocery list. Damn, I hate shopping.

Have a wonderful day…

Oops! Almost forgot to show some of our friends that have visited, and just to get your mouth watering even more… 2 loaves that I made about a month ago, and remembered to take a picture of. :D

Three months, gone, in a blink.

Christine — Thu, 14 May 2009 05:11:43 +0000

Handmade Beeswax Candles

It really is hard for me to believe that it is already May. It just does not seem possible, I mean just yesterday it was February, wasn’t it?

To catch up with what has been happening, you need to understand when it all started to go awry, and this was last post on it: If it weren’t for bad luck….

Since that post, I now have my laptop hooked up to one of my old 19″ monitors, so that I can use it, which kinda messes up that whole, just grab the laptop and go thing that it had going for it, but hey, it works this way. Still don’t have cellphone fixed, but, found out that if I take it in, they will put new cover on it! WOOT! I’ll get to that in the next week.

Finally, got some rain last night. Yes, I know, we had gotten our 30 drops, but then, in the afternoon/evening, the skies let loose. It was wonderful, fantastic, and coming down so fast that… much didn’t soak into the ground. Yards and streets were flooded. Oh well, at least it rained. I was thrilled. Didn’t get out camera to capture the awesome lightening that was going on, but I did get to enjoy it without worrying if shutter was open long enough to capture some photons, or if it was open too long, which would overexpose that same photons.

Okay, so, let’s catch up, now that you know it rained here, and no I am not making light of the storms that have been happening all over - for those that they are adversely affecting, my thoughts and prayers go out to you, and to those chasers that are following them - Godspeed and don’t forget to just enjoy Mother Nature, without all the gizmos and gadgets.

Here we go…

I posted about MiMi passing away in April, April 15th to be exact (I’m not looking forward to Friday), what I haven’t said, and it is NOT because I didn’t think it was important, is that my great-aunt also passed. My Aunt Norma, my Pappap’s sister, passed on April 27th. We are still trying to deal with that, and how it is effecting my Pap. :( Prayers for him, would be awesome, he is the last of that line.

I want to take the time here to say that corporations that don’t take care of their obligations, like paying their rent, greedy money-grubbing corporations, SUCK!! What on earth am I talking about? Well, let me tell ya our tale of woe.

Way back when, my family owned a “Mom and Pop” type grocery store, everything from extra hoses/belts for your car to groceries and fresh meat and produce. This was back before chain groceries stores moved into Miami. Then big chain store moved in and after 30 years, the store had to close.

Skip to present time, a time when apparently honesty is no longer a quality in people and doing business. You see, the company that rents our land (where the store used to be), is playing games. They keep subletting and not telling us, they refuse to answer their phones, oh, and let’s not forget, they haven’t paid rent in 3 months, are not keeping up the property according to Miami-Dade County code, AND, here is the biggie… have not paid the property taxes. Yes, per the antiquated contract (which we have been trying to get updated), they are supposed to pay the taxes. But they haven’t. Which means… if anyone cares to GIVE us money, that would be awesome, because on top of the economy which sucks, and stock plummeting which has made it harder, what little stock we had left, we had to sell, to come up with $20,000. Yes, you read that correctly.

So, that is what we have been dealing with down here, on top of all the normal crap… plus, trying to get some veggies going, which took longer than it should have because items I ordered, they were back-ordered and didn’t come in on time, making our own bread, butter, jams & jellies, candles (wow, do they smell so much better than store bought), slipcovers and more!

So, if any of my rich friends wants to just give out money, free and clear - call me. *laughs*

Would it be selfish to pray to win the lottery or powerball???

Mock Ham Salad a.k.a. Poor Man’s Ham Salad

Hopefully I will start getting images again soon, and make the blog a much happier place.

To leave you tonight, I’ll end with a recipe, a simple recipe for sure, but it really is oh so good, this is what my great and my great-great grandmother’s used to send with the ‘men-folk’ when they went down into the coal mines of Pennsylvania:

Mock Ham Salad a.k.a. Poor Man’s Ham Salad

1 lb chunk bologna (not beef)
6-7 sweet gherkins (with about 1-2 Tbsp juice reserved)
2-4 Tbsp (depending on your taste) salad dressing (Miracle Whip type)

Modern day - cut bologna into 1 inch pieces, cut gherkins in half, throw into large food processor and blend to puree (consistency of a spread). Add enough salad dressing to moisten and bind. I don’t like a lot of dressing, other members of family do, so they add more to theirs.

Blend all together, spread it thinly or thickly, depending on your liking, on bread, roll or crackers and enjoy.

I’ll try and grab some shots of the new self-watering containers that we put together for the veggies - they are really cool, but really ugly. *grins*

Be well, be safe, be happy!

Thank you and the 30 rain drops!!

Christine — Tue, 12 May 2009 21:20:46 +0000

Thank you to everyone for thoughts about MiMi. Yes, she was my baby, no doubt about it. These last three months have been, well, a whirlwind of stuff going on.

I will post an update later tonight - but did want to send a quick thank you.

For your thoughts, for your words, for your… caring. It truly is and was appreciated, even if I did not get back to anyone while still trying to deal with her death. You’ll understand why after the update…

I’m back, still a little sporadic, will be trying to get some much need imaging time, and trying to pick up pieces from the last couple of months.

On a good note - we got about 30 drops of rain today! WOOT! Dropped over 10 degrees, which was awesome, because it has been damn hot here!

Take care, I’ll post later, and know that you are in my thoughts, my heart and always my prayers.

Now…. let’s see some more weather, dammit!! :D

R.I.P.

Christine — Sun, 03 May 2009 20:04:24 +0000

Camille “MiMi” Hudnall
February 3, 1987 - April 15, 2009

If it weren’t for bad luck…

Christine — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 08:00:24 +0000

Yes, we are still kicking down here in Central Florida!

Not sure when I’ll be able to post again, it might be a few days, or even longer…

You know that old saying, “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all!”, well, my family takes that saying to a whole new level! Cop a squat and let me tell ya about the last month, here at Scattered Branches Farm. Yes, I know I don’t actually live ON a farm, but hey, let’s not get nitpicky.

It all started with our DSL being out for few days, because someone had cut a cable. And then my laptop started going freaky on me, with the display going blank, or so I thought! When the light hit the screen just right, I could see, screen didn’t go blank, but actually just went super super dim. But why? Well, I found out it was because of overheating. Wait a minute, it is February - can’t be overheating, right? Well, After all our wonderful cold weather (although I cannot say that I’m particularly happy about all our plants dying!) Florida is starting to warm up. Why would that effect my laptop? I’ll tell ya why - because I used it out on the porch. No, not the outside porch, but the inside porch - where there is no insulation whatsoever. So, there are basically two temperatures on the porch. Freezing or Melting. It was great for the laptop while it was freezing, but that time is now gone, we are in the start of the melting stage. Sooooo… this means that the office that I’ve put off rearranging, now has to be ready so that I can use the laptop, instead of the big PC all the time.

Not looking for anything fancy - will be using a door on top of two file cabinets for a desk - but it’s the having to rip up the old carpet, padding and those stupid tack strips. I’d like to smack whoever invented those things! Well, right after he or she patches all the holes in the concrete that ripped off when prying out the nails driven in. Yes, the concrete apparently is very blessed. :o) The bad part about doing this myself is that it is killing my knees and back - the good part about doing this myself is, I am cheap labor! :o)

So, I am still working on ripping up carpeting and prying up tack strips, while trying to move old desks from one side of room to the other, because we still need a computer running, to pay bills! Can’t move the desks out into family room, because 5 bookshelves and all of their belongings are out there, from when I moved them out of office, so that I could have a place to move the old desks to, while I ripped up carpeting and pried out tack strips. See how this vicious and cruel cycle works?

But, what does DSL being down, laptop freaking out and tack strips have to do with bad luck? You my lucky friend, just have to be patient, cuz we aren’t done yet!

So, DSL came back up finally, I’m trying to get office done so that I can work in there, on laptop which is now not working right, which means that I am having to move everything around, so that I can pull up the old carpet (no, leaving it was not an option - 18 years old and even Ed Begley would admit defeat with this carpet!), so that I can get the door up for the desk, while still having a computer up and running so that we can pay bills.

Crap, DSL is out again. Four days go by, still no DSL. Six days, no DSL. Eighth day, I grab my cellphone to call Tech Support, open the phone, uh-oh, I don’t think that cracking noise was a good thing. Go to close the lid to see what cracking noise was - oh crap - lid to phone broke. I really do hate when companies use plastic for hinges and stuff - it never lasts. So, now, I have no cellphone, until I can replace it. But I digress.

Go inside to office, move paperwork that is piled high, because I don’t have the file cabinets in office right now, because of having enough to move from one side to the other, so nothing is being filed and I can’t find my phone!! Oh, there it is.

Call tech support - what do you mean DSL is not out? Yes it is, has been for at least eight days! Access number was changed? When did this happen? Oh, emergency change. But, why would that have anything to do with DSL, I don’t do dial-up? Okay, I didn’t it would, so at least I got that part right, but that still doesn’t help me, because DSL is still not working!

Well, we ran through everything we could, nothing, nada, zilch. Sure, have a supervisor call me tomorrow - I’m not messing with it anymore tonight, I have a desk to move again.

Did I happen to mention that I’ve been moving the desks around the room as I pull up carpet and tack stripping? Let me just say here and now, thank you God for giving us whoever it was who invented those gliding thing-a-ma-jibs that go under furniture! I’ve moved queen sized beds, big maple armoire, file cabinets that were still filled, desks and more! Anyway, today, I figured out why our DSL has been out, you see, amongst all the desk moving, carpet ripping, struggling with the tack strips, fretting about bills not getting paid online, cellphone breaking and laptop freaking; I apparently slightly touched the phone line that plugs into the phone jack. And I do mean slightly touched, you see, the little clip thing at the end of the phone line has a piece that sticks out, and that is what keeps it in the jack, well, it broke a couple of years ago, and me being me, taped the line in the jack. Hey, it’s worked for at least 4 years like that! Yup, all of this because I bumped it and it jiggled.

So now, carpet is 70 percent gone, tack strip and concrete(!) is pulled up where carpet used to be, cellphone is still broke, laptop is still freaking, have to go through an obstacle course to get to kitchen or a chair in family room, but bills are now paid and DSL is working!

Oh, did I mention, I have an ear ache, broke a tooth on a unpopped popcorn kernel and thank goodness we are in Florida, because I just do not know what I would do, if I actually went a whole five months without finding a friggin’ scorpion in either the house or in the garage.

Sigh.

If it weren’t for bad luck…

Oh yeah… Happy St. Patty’s Day - from this partly Irish gal!